#maybe it’s from the dysphoria
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after lots of thinking (becoming the mayor of yapsville in discord vc w bro until we came to a consensus), i need to speak my truth.
solangelo is more fun if will is codependent and lowk a stalker
#urrghh#toxicfies ur yaoi cutely#[smug]#solangelo#dark solangelo#i think thats the tag#ough#solangelo but will is debilitatingly obsessed w nico and relies basically soley on him for validation and approval...#weird little freak will + ftm gender dysphoria will = 🤤🤤🤤#and 🤤🤤🤤 will + chubby will = tumblr user squeeblub found dead in a ditch#i may be biased#pjo#toa#hoo#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo hoo toa#will solace#nico di angelo#jealous william andrew solace...william andrew solace that cries when nico has somewhere to be that he cant go to ?!?!#like imagine him hugging nico from behind with flushed cheeks and literal tears in his eyes going#'wauhgh...oughj...nyoooo....dont go...'#and nico would shoo him and go anyway and then will is lurking at the somewhere in question just outside of nicos view#and hes sweating and smiling in that one shaky unhinged way like yk the one#bc hes so nervous but excited#hes a stalker ur honor#he was 1 step away from being a stalker in tsats anyway so i can say this#also did u guys see how overprotective he was ????#i need him carnally#maybe ill make a in depth ramble abt this but i ran out of tags so bye bye !!!!1!#hes so glorbo send tweet
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Lately I tried to cosplay Lupin... I can better plenty of things (hair, makeup, trousers, socks, boots, general phisique) but I had fun
#I'm not a professional cosplayer#I ran away from the other Lupin and the Jigen I saw at the con#hmm#lupin iii#lupin the third#cosplay#maybe the only photo they took that doesn't trigger my dysphoria
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so! i was going through @thedeafprophet 's blog yesterday (specifically their rory posts) and saw this:

from about a year ago! and since rory still doesn't have a tattoo yet, i thought i might try my hand at designing her one! so! nudity (just back and ass) under the cut, here's what i ended up designing!!

(the heart is just to show heart shape)
i imagine with Monsterous Anatomy and how far along her transformation is, the stars in her tattoos would behave similarly to how a real curator's wing stars would! whether faintly glowing, or moving with the season, or just being very neat!!
The base would be connected to her shoulder muscles, and give the faint illusion of them actually flexing!
#step blorbos#rory#dye stained art#maybe she'd get it inked in peligin for the dark parts since peligin is tied to monsters and the zee and so is rory...#and maybe doing that might help relieve some dysphoria#I'm just. ough#think i was possessed while drawing this cbxbzhxhxk#temporarily taking a break from the red butch to draw <3 green butch <3#queue the music
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#banana fish#yut lung lee#lee yut lung#im not going to explain myself. jk um yll's two looks are women's clothing and dysphoria sweaters#or at least like 80% of them#and when characters mistake yll for/compare yll to a woman there's zero pushback or correction#and yll talks about being girly on the inside too and just. idk ok#like no i dont want to compare yll to western gender standards but yll wears chinese women's clothing/hairstyles#it's not just different cultural standards it's intentionally wearing fem clothes from that culture#look maybe estrogen would give her something to live for idk#like all hcs i think there's a bunch of other ways to view yll's gender that are good but idk i like this one 👍#also to be so real i just hit characters i like with the transgenderfication beam a lot so#i think i saw a gimmick blog doing this question but uh. i dont feel like finding it and submitting sorry#hope its ok if me and the other like 40 bf fans on here have this one#thats so crazy i just noticed the color palette i chose.... more like blue lung lee am i right
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unironically I think 'none gender with left girl' is the best way to describe my gender
#personal crap#idk what i would do to transition if anything#maybe laser surgery bc of how much dysphoria I get from having thick body hair in places i wish i didn’t#and if i could get hold of it maybe hrt but idk#i wish i could voice train but it always makes me anxious
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im not exaggerating when i say ive been staring at your newest twitter art for the past twenty minutes. i feel ill Why can i hear them
the thigh size difference, the codpiece, charles drooling and Shaking that man is Gone, mags' smug smile and uh. his uhm . Hes HUGE..... charles How do you take that thing and live to tell the tale... and mags' lil speech bubble, what filth could he be sayin..... much to think about, i think i hauve covid, THEY LOOK SO GOOD, apologies to your bro's sneakers but i for one am very happy with this outcome :3 as always thank you so much for your service 🫡🫡
thank you for the review on my doodles today!!!!! i looked deep into my soul and let it do the rest......
#fave#snap chats#i love comments/asks like these hi VJLAVKJAKL IDK i just like it when you guys share the details you like in what i draw...#it makes me most happy :) i WAS gonna write dialogue for mags but i figured id just let people think of what he could be saying#didnt wanna distract from what we all here for of course...#i have more metal-related shenanigans involved so i hope yall will enjoy that when i post it in the future :]]#ALSO i have such like. size dysphoria. if that is anything or if thats the right term Do We Know What I Mean#i never think i make mags too big or charles too small while im drawing but then ill leave the canvas for like ten minutes#and then i come back and im like 'jesus fucking christ merry yaoimas' JVLERGKGJAELK#it bleeds into my real life i'll see i grabbed a lot of food from a buffet or whatever and ill be like 'yeah i can eat all that'#and then three minutes later im like Hospital#like i jus tnever think Big Thigns are ACtually Big im just like 'it cant be THAT much' and then Im Wrong AVJLKJAE#back on topic tho I SWEAARR i only have the size difference be dummy with krakoa just because thats the funniest thing about krakoa#i enjoy it...... i be lying i do make mags egregiously big main comicverse/tas too JWRLKJAWRL#its just that i try to give charles a lil more upper body muscle in that so it's only like .2% less obvious. still obvious tho </3#forgive me father i like size differences !!!!#IN ANY CASE. worry not my friend i did get my brother his sneakers#AND I GOT PLUSHIE STUFF !!! I have not mad a plushie in years never mind a human one#when i was growing up i really liked making plushies of food and animals so ive never made a plushie of a person#im not embroidering a face go to hell i aint doin all that JVWARLKJALKJ maybe in the future if i ever make more#ANYWAY. im gonna re read this ask fifty times thank you so much 🥺 very happy to hear you enjoy the pieces so much !!!!!!!!#now if you'll excuse me /i'll/ be thinking about these men in situations ft charles' heinous outfit........#and like also trying to make a plushie so thatll be fun JVLKWAJ
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EATING YOUR PROSTHETIC MEAT/MEET YOUR ANAESTHETIC CRITERIA PATHETIC SEEING YOU BECOME ACETIC
SAY MY NAME LIKE A SLUR BUT I'VE BEEN CALLED WORSE AND I'VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE NO THIS IS ISNT A FIRST
LET ME BE THE VOID YOU FILL WITH TAXIDERMY FINGERPRINTS TAXONIMISE OUR DIFFERENCES
I AM QUANTUM PHYSICS, MY WITNESS BRINGS ME INTO EXISTENCE
I WISH I COULD BE A GIRL!!!!!!
#tw caps#can you tell i like this song#its been stuck in my head recently and im actually crying like wtf what a real song how did willard woodchip take my inane ramblings#straight from my skull and turn them into lyrics#can you also tell dysphoria has maybe been kicking my ass#i/me/myself#will wood
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going insane over genly's sex/gender crisis during the fortelling. if it were a female envoy i bet the imagery would have been phallic, but instead it's a traumatic sequence of deep-seated yonic horrors
#genly. my guy. you're a typical tumblr trans masc dysphoria comic from 2019#i say this endearingly#maybe thats why i like this book so much. Cis Guy experiences the daily terror of being Trans#tlhod
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This one goes out to my fellow ADHD and Autistic fam.
Me: I think it would be fun to stream all of the Mass Effect trilogy and I am excited to finally do so when I can! I am gonna draw cute thumbnails and everything!
Mom: As long as it doesn't distract you from your work.
Me:
#MAYBE SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO FEEL JOY#MAYBE SOMETIMES I NEED A DISTRACTION FROM THE HORRORS#HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT????#MAYBE I AM CAPABLE OF MANAGING MY ADULT LIFE AND THAT'S NOT EVEN A CONCERN OF MINE#MAYBE I WAS JUST TRYING TO SHARE EXCITEMENT AND HAPPINESS#ADHD#Rejection Dysphoria
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Y'know how the first day of your period is always like I'm dizzy I'm nauseous there are noises everywhere I'm covered in sweat and I'm filthy I'm sitting in blood I want to take an ice bath I don't want anything at all to touch me ever I'm going to kill my family I'm going to pass out oh my god I can't breathe I'm in pain oh lord deliver us from evil? But don't worry, it's normal, girlie! You were made for this, queen 😉👑
#i have issues + being not cis makes periods a lot worse#to top it off im home today and doing laundry like some good little wife#i dont think i like being reminded that i have an organ inside me meant for something i do not wish to have#gonna be as vague as that because i might throw up from dysphoria today#maybe i should write more of my t4t au lol#CRAAAAWLING IIINNNN MY SKIIIIINNNN
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Hear me out: hijack Anya's ghost au..
#hiccup would be like a senior in highschook but lacking all his canon character development at that age dear god..#also being sent to a private school is so in character for shit modern stoick would do 😭#for those who dont know anyas ghost is a graphic novel abt a girl who befriends a ghost via finding some girls skeleton the way it works is#so long as she has a little bit of fhe bone on her the ghost is linked to it and can follow her around.#+ a lot of other stuff but the main dynamic is rlly fun especially with how things escalate#would this mean jacks kinda evil? maybe. would be for a significantly different reason than the canon ghost. could be his years of solitude#drove him crazy or maybe could change things up a little..#redemption arc or make him a lil messed up in the head but not completely malicious yknow..#another appealing part of it is anyas insecurity of her famliy being Russian immigrants#bc im always down for that sort of thing totally not projecting a bit but i think thatd be fun to explore w hiccup moving from berk yknow#hijack#hijack au#moth.txt#my summary was kind of shit to do the story justice pks just look it up its so good i was obsessed w it in middle school#would replace anyas vody image issues w gender dysphoria.....evil like that sorry#a lot of the shit she does and the place of insecurity it comes from would be sooo fun to tweak to fit hiccups character
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its so wild to go back and read poetry that i wrote before i realized i was trans. suddenly seeing the (at the time) invisible layers to the theme of trying to feel at home in my body...
#and they arent sad or angry or painful poems. cause i've never seriously struggled with dysphoria.#its more like figuring out how to orient myself. or being lost and then finding a path.#when i'm at my computer i'll post maybe one of my favorite stanzas i've ever written. its from my portfolio freshmen year of college
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I was horny so I covered myself in blood.
#somehow I think this isn't normal#maybe I do have a blood kink#It's just that my dysphoria stops me from getting off to being covered in blood when it's just me
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I realize quite suddenly that I have a similar confusion with the intricacies of gender as I do towards attraction in general as an acearo, but maybe less so
#or maybe exactly as much because I will NOT catch onto the dysphoria unless I am told#what does this realization even mean though (…I’ll probably find out within the month)#dra signals from home
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